Over the last few years working as a therapist and in my own personal life, I’ve started to look at Life as a game of Whack-A-Mole. We deal with one thing and the next challenge shows up in no time. It seems many, if not all of us, to some degree, are living this out. Whether it’s a relationship challenge, a flat tire, an accident, a physical ailment, employment frustration, financial stress, a pimple at the worst time, the heartbreaking loss of a loved one, plumbing issues, bad news, missing a flight, ad infinitum…it’s always something, right?

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Why? What is the point of all this? Is it simply “the way it is?” Is it because “life’s a bitch and then you die?” I don’t think so. I wholeheartedly believe Life unfolds for a reason and that life happens for us, not to us.

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As the Whack-A-Mole pattern has become glaringly obvious, a revelation has dawned.

I believe we, as Souls, are here on Earth in these bodies to learn valuable lessons which we wanted and chose to experience before we incarnated; lessons such as forgiveness, faith, empowerment, self-love, self-expression, courage, patience, discernment, compassion, recovering from addiction, and ultimately Self-Realization.  The challenges we face may be the curriculum specifically designed for us to overcome and learn the lessons we sought as a Soul for our growth and evolution in our journey towards becoming perfect expressions of our Creator.

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In order to learn, grow, and evolve, we need to experience varying levels of challenges requiring us to choose how to respond. Perhaps it’s grace that brings everything we need to wake up, and not bad luck after all. If that is so, we could practice leaning into the challenges and using them as catalysts to practice The Work of personal development.

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For example, we might struggle with immediate, habitual, patterned, unconscious, and/or unhealthy reactions to life’s challenges. We may get stuck in resistance to what is happening, react with anger, resentment, or victimhood as we project our pain onto others, blaming them for our situation, while failing to recognize and take responsibility for our part in it. We may become hopeless and despair that our situations won’t ever change, complain to anyone who will listen, create drama and conflict with those around us, and justify our emotionally immature behaviors. We self-medicate, numb, distract, and check out through our myriad ways of avoiding the uncomfortable feelings. This is a form of hell. We are stuck, stagnant, and failing to learn our lessons.

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Or, when we are triggered, we could choose to turn inside and bring our attention to our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. We can notice our reactionary thoughts which are likely judgmental – this is wrong/bad/shouldn’t be happening, blaming, labeling, comparing, and complaining. We could notice what’s happening with our breath, any constriction in our throat and chest, tension in our shoulders, clenching jaws and fists. We can name our feelings, such as anger, shock, disappointment, hurt, frustration, confusion, sadness, fear, loneliness, or heartache. We may be willing to slow down our breath and allow the energies to move through, as we stay with our present experience. We might practice withdrawing attention from the stream of mind chatter and gently return to the body and breath, again and again, letting go and surrendering to what is.

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From a place of greater calm and self-connection, perhaps we are willing to consider other perspectives about the situation that are equally or more true, and less stressful. We might consider what needs or values are present, such as safety, a shared reality, understanding, ease, kindness, connection, trust, support, to be seen, heard, and known, to be loved, community, or integrity. We might put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and wonder what they may be feeling and needing too. Perhaps we journal, scream into a towel, dance and shake our booty, go for a run, cook a meal, meditate, do yoga, call a trusted loved one, therapist, or hotline to seek counsel, use essential oils, take a bath, or hit the gym. There are countless healthy coping skills and self-care practices we can utilize to shift the energy and gain greater inner peace and clarity without checking out.

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In time, whenever we are ready, we might begin to get curious and gently ask ourselves, “What is the lesson for me here? What is my role in this situation? What could I do differently?” We can sit with the questions and wait for answers to be revealed. We can be kind and self-compassionate as we take responsibility for our thoughts, words, and actions, and our impact upon others. Perhaps we are moved to have a difficult conversation, to truly listen to the other and have the courage to speak our truth. I love the Four Gates of communication: Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Helpful? Is it Necessary?  I often find that once I process within myself, there is no need to bring it to the other person. However, sometimes it is necessary and vital to express oneself.

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I have come to trust that Life is a loving and intelligent energy. The Whack-A-Mole Game of Life is helping us get Home as fast as we can handle. So, welcome those challenges that keep popping up. The more difficult the challenge, the more helpful it will be when we choose love over fear.

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In the words of Dr. Viktor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

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Growth and freedom lead us to a state of Heaven, here and now. So, if you want to live in heaven, welcome the Whack-A-Mole challenges that come up. They are gifts from beyond.

 

The Guest House by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

 

“Nietzsche was the one who did the job for me. At a certain moment in his life, the idea came to him of what he called 'the love of your fate.' Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, 'This is what I need.' It may look like a wreck but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment--not discouragement--you will find the strength is there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow.

Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see that this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes.”

~Joseph Campbell, Reflections on the Art of Living.

 

“This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.” – Hafiz

 

Andrew Duhon sings in his song, “It’s Gonna Take a Little Rain”

… Its gonna take a little rain
To let the grass beneath us grow
Its gonna take a little rain
'Fore the flowers start to show
Sure we'd all want it our way
But there's some things we don't know
Just trust that on the way to beautiful
Its gonna take a little rain

 

The truth is hiding in plain sight for each of us. Ask and it is given. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall open. You got this!